I'm a feminist.
I believe Women deserve equal rights & pay.
I believe Women deserve to be anything they want to be, and it shouldn't be hindered by their gender.
I also believe that modern day feminism is often doing Women a disservice.
If you go on social media and see a video of a Woman sharing her "day in the life" video where she just so happens to not have a job and instead takes on a more at home role, whether it's a Mom (which, is a HUGE job), or does other things around the house without children, or simply is just not working- whether it's because she's in between jobs or is in a position where she doesn't have to... the comment sections are running wild.
Criticism from other Women who say things like "must be nice," or calling her lazy.
In fact, I posted a video that went viral on Instagram about how I worked long hours the week prior and made a funny joke about how I'd rather be twirling around the garden like a fairy and the first comment, on all platforms was from women who said something along the lines of "how long did you work, 20 hours," or another one liner judging me, criticizing me, and for some reason questioning my work ethic.
As someone who works with Women on a regular basis, centered around helping her support her health, I am constantly reminded how this thought of feminism, and feeling worthy as a Women is negatively influencing our society.
Women will report feeling "lazy" if they take the time to rest. Viewing resting or scaling back on their work as a weakness. Falling into the trap of overworking, burnout, and exhaustion... just so they can satisfy other people with the response of busyness when asked "how have things been?"
Ultimately leaving the in a masculine dominant energy that, for a vast majority of women, goes against their naturally dominant feminine energy.
Sounds woo probably, but think of it this way... if you are constantly pushing yourself past your energetic needs, without adequate rest, play, and joy sprinkled into the equation, something has got to give. The first thing that often does give is your health. It'll be subtle at first, with little warning signs expressed through symptoms that then get louder and louder, until you are forced to confront them.
Aside from energetic needs, Women do have different biological needs.
AND THAT'S OKAY.
Society wasn't built with Women's health in mind. It was built to accommodate men. Men, who have a 24hour hormonal cycle centered around testosterone, that just so happens to sync up perfectly with the hours of 9-5.
Men, who are typically feel relatively the same (give or take, obviously) every day, and don't have much variability when it comes to hormones.
Men, who's brains work differently, often allowing them to be really good at focusing at one thing at a time.
Whereas Women, have a hormonal cycle that has shifts and variations over the span of ~28 days (each women is different in terms of how long her cycle is). Causing her to have different energy levels and physiological needs during the month.
The female brain operates differently as well. The female brain does better with multitasking, especially during menstruation. The hemispheres are able to connect more compared to the male brain.
Here's the kicker..
Because Women are naturally good at being able to juggle multiple things at one time, they are often left with the responsibility of the expectation to do more.
There's a societal expectation/ component to this as well that gets rooted in generations. For example: with a male and female partnership often the Women is the first to blame if the house is unkept. She is also the one who is expected to come up with plans and maintaining schedules.
Think about it, who in your family makes the plans for Mother's Day?
If your parents were to come into your house during a time when you're in between cleanings, things are a little bit of a mess, and your male partner has left things all over the house... who would your parents make comments to about it? How about his parents?
Women hold immense societal expectations.
In addition, generational trauma is passed down through the family, directly from the Mother. So, if your Mother had burden's to bare, they then can become the child's burdens without you fully realizing it (often being the most significant in the female child).
And to put the cherry on top, when Women do go to work, they are often paid less, and aren't given the same opportunities as their Male colleagues (still, in 2023...)
Let's also not forget, that menstruating Women are often left out of scientific studies. Meaning, that for all the things that have been studied regarding health, it's mainly done on men or post menopausal Women who do not have a menstrual cycle. Leaving a HUGE population of Women without adequate health care/ support (which, is already lacking for Women anyway, especially for those with menstrual disorders.)
Feminism is about equality for Women. Which, I'm a big fan of. Women should be getting paid equally and have equal opportunities.
It's also okay to recognize that Women have these additional stressors naturally in their lives, simply from existing as a Women. This doesn't mean she is weak, this just may mean that she might need some time to do some healing and focus on other things besides a corporate job in order for her to feel happy.
Feminism needs to acknowledge and respect that every Women's life journey is going to be different, and that's okay.
Women need to feel safe. Women need to be well nourished. Women need rest. So, if that means her life looks like deeply supporting herself on all of these levels vs. feeding into the daily hustle that leads to depletion, good for her.
There's room for all of it. She deserves to have, do, be, and achieve anything she wants to. She also deserves to take care of herself/ her biology. So, if that means slowing down, enhancing her feminine energy, and embracing all that being a Women has to offer... so be it.
Here to help you feel more like YOU in a way that supports YOUR life.
Rooting for you, Always.
To learn more about Women's Health and how to deeply support your body, check out my self paced, online course, Feminine Vitality.
